QUIZ RECAP

Clementine, Goddess Of Orchards, was scanning her trees for possible shoplifters. She was always having to fend off thieves and dirt-heels, scamps and tramps, never-do-wells who were always trying to steal from her trees. One day she re-planted her entire orchard over a hidden frack mouth. The frack, an enormous creature with galaxies for eyes and worlds for fangs, was completely disguised as the ground of the orchard. Clem (to her fiends) made an announcement. “I’m going on vacation!” she bellowed through the skies. Every criminal, expecting her to be gone, from Hades to Heaven heard it and converged on the orchard likes flies do excrement. Not at all on vacation however, Clem watched from the skies as a several roaring bands of thieves decimated her orchards, tree by tree. They stuffed fruit after fruit into their cheap, burlap bags and snickered at how easy it was, right as Clem gave the signal to the frack, via text of course. The frack’s phone plan was about to run out so it would be the last text he’d get. “Eat them alive” the text read. And the frack responded. Clamping its jaws shut, which acted as the orchard floor, as several gangs got chomped to their death was a sight for—well, only one person to see and that was Clem since everyone else, except the frack was dead. Here’s the point: Don’t steal from orchards and don’t cheat at trivia contests. It’s not nice. Let’s talk:

The winner of the Drinking Round tonight was begrudgingly sang a Johnny Cash song and one free drinks for his team. Free alcohol. Just what Johnny would’ve liked.

In third place tonight with a score of 48 points was Jazz Cats. In second place with a score of 52 points was Queen Bees. And destroying everybody was P’s In A Pod with 56 points. Please come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday at 7:30 at The Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!

QUIZ RECAP

When Hephasteses, God Of Hangnails, got his manicure, he specifically asked for his cuticles to be painted fuchsia. “You know I like fuchsia!” he yelled at the manicurist. Then, he promptly fell asleep. When he awoke, his cuticles were sufficiently fuchsia, but what he didn’t know was the manicurist (and much of his ragtag family) had crept in during Hep’s afternoon nap and painted a serpent’s tail on his forehead. Gazing at his cuticles when a woke, he said to the manicurist: “Next time, give me what I want.” He later attended the Winds Of War convention with that same serpent’s tail on his forehead (a symbol which is the equivalent of a coital appendage) whilst giving a speech of fire and brimstone to the now not-bored-at-all congregation. The point is this: Just because you leave a pub trivia competition before it’s over, doesn’t mean you’re not the best team there.

The Drinking Round tonight was a Whitney Off: Whoever could do the best Whitney Houston would win. Some guy who looked nothing like Whitney Houston showed up and sang something and totally won.

In third place tonight with a score of 24 points was Dah Bomb, which is quite extraordinary in that they came late and missed the entirety of round one. What a power move. In second place with a score of 28 points, let’s hear to for The Electric Storm. And dominating the night was Team Chavez with a score of 55 thousand points. Come back every Wednesday night at 7:30 to the The Glendale Tap for more King Trivia fun!

QUIZ RECAP

When Deranemus, God Of Concrete, chased those meddling neighborhood boys off his freshly-poured sidewalk for the third time that afternoon, he made a vow: “The next time they try it, I’m sending the wet concrete at their feet high into the air and then viciously down upon them like a crashing wave of heavy grey slabs.” The “it” here was a predilection the lads had for carving initials and other choice words into Der’s (that’s what friends called him) pavement before it was dry. One time, not only were their initials all over the place (easy to prove their guilt in court), but they had several misspelled words as well. In “Mr. Deranemus is a steenky butt,” the blatant error in “stinky” was plain as day. “Unacceptable!” he roared to the heavens and awaited the boys’ predictable return after paving over their markings. Then he waited. And waited. Until finally, they came back: all three scamps with twigs for writing implements and, oddly, boogie boards. They crouched down to leave their marks and, as promised, Deranemus (Der to his friends) summoned the wet concrete high into the air above the amazed boys. But before he could bring it down upon them like planned, they jumped atop their boogie boards and rode that wave of liquid concrete down Der’s street and away to safety, hooting and hollering all the way. One of them yelled back at Der: “We heard you yell your plan to the heavens. That’s how we knew to bring boogie boards!” Here’s the point: No such event took place tonight at King Trivia’s Glendale Tap Night tonight. Let’s talk:

The Drinking Round was a Swift Off. The best Taylor Swift rendition would win free drinks. The 25,000-person White Lotus took the main prize, even when the contestant forgot the words and his team helped him out!

In third place tonight was White Lotus with 44 points. In second was Jazz Cats with 51 points. And blowing the damn doors down by doubling or nothing-ing for 20 points in round was 7 My Hungry Guys. Their total score was 75 points!

Come back next Wednesday and every Wednesday for more King Trivia fun at the Glendale Tap at 7:30!